Because he never chose me

I want to stop thinking about you.

I will put you away from my life.

I thought for many years you didn´t mean anything for me.

But here I am, Croatia played and you came to my mind.

You probably will marry soon and me ..I am here lonelier than ever, maybe that is what hurts me .. thats there´s no one by my side.

That you won and I lost.

 

 

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Est-ce que je t’ai parlé de Julian?

Il était mon collègue au travail.

Il était calme et facile à vivre.

Je n’ai jamais remarqué, jusqu’à un jour, que je voyais ses bras pendant qu’il se rendait à la cafétéria.

Il va définitivement au gym, je pensais.

Je l’aimais.

Il était plutôt beau.

Il est allé au cinéma une fois, alors que personne d’autre ne voulait y aller.

A partir de ce jour, nous sommes allés au cinéma presque tous les mercredis.

Une fois, nous sommes même allés dans une autre ville pour une excursion d’une journée.

Nous n’avons jamais embrassé ou quoi que ce soit.

mais j’ai apprécié mon temps avec lui.

Quand j’ai quitté, il a gardé le contact avec moi. Beaucoup d’autres personnes ne l’ont pas fait.

Je l’ai rencontré pour peu de temps, mais il est toujours mon ami.

Je me souviens que je me suis endormi au cinéma une fois, il s’en souvient aussi, il se moque de moi.

Je ne veux pas oublier ça.

23 June The best version

Today I was listening to the meditation of Deepak Chopra.

He was talking about success …and what is really that?

I believe success is to be true to yourself and do what makes you happy.

So, What am I on Earth for?

I discovered this a couple of months or maybe years ago… I came to this world to SERVE, to help … but this is very broad … I am working to make it more precise, I am here to support people who feel sad, to encourage them.

I am here to hug the ones who feel lonely, because I have felt lonely before.

But now, I want to be the best version of me, to be a real example for others of how to be the best version of theirselves.

today, Saturday 23 of June, I will make this my goal, to encourage others to be the best by being an example of this.

how am I going to attain this?

-Getting a fit body, for health more than beauty

-Daiting the boy I like. I will invite him out. If not, it is fine.

-Letting the past go. Bye Laf, Good Bless you.

-I will be a friend of my friends.

-Getting the job I want.  I deserve the job I want, I willl apply, I won’t be scared.

I can be the best version of me and everybody else can.

I want my life to be a living proof that everything is possible, an example. I want to encourage people.

Todo lo que hicimos nos trajo aquí .. esta es tu vida

Hoy 26 de mayo de 2018, después de hablar platicado durante horas con JZ decido que aquí termina nuestro capítulo de amor incompleto.

Te perdono JZ y me perdono.

Por todo lo que nos hicimos, lo que nos fallamos, lo que nos engañamos, lo que nos herimos, lo que nos mentimos.

Te perdono por romperme el corazón, te perdono por todo, por que ya es pasado.

Por que yo también fallé, porque no te valore y ni me valoraste.

Porque éramos jóvenes e inmaduros, porque nunca supimos qué hacer.

Te perdono porque continuas tu vida sin mi, me perdono por no haber arriesgado todo por ti.

Me perdono por no haberte dicho NO antes.

Me perdono por no saber si te amo o no.

Ahora lloró porque lo nuestro se acabo, pero de alguna manera siempre estaremos conectado por todo el cariño que nos queda.

Te perdono y te dejo ir.

Me perdono y doy permiso de irme y ser feliz.

Quiero que seas feliz .. quiero ser feliz.

Ahora sólo somos amigos, no volveremos a estar juntos románticamente y eso está bien.

No somos el uno para el otro, pero somos importantes el uno para el otro.

Sólo nos queda aprender de nuestros errores, no volverlos a cometer y saber que todo lo que nos pasa es lo mejor que nos puede pasar, es lo que elegimos y al final todo tiene un por qué.

Dios sabe el por qué de las cosas.

No sabemos de lo que nos está librando.

Hoy 26 de mayo de 2018, después de hablar platicado durante horas con JZ decido que aquí termina nuestro capítulo de amor incompleto.

Te perdono JZ y me perdono.

Por todo lo que nos hicimos, lo que nos fallamos, lo que nos engañamos, lo que nos herimos, lo que nos mentimos.

Te perdono por romperme el corazón, te perdono por todo, por que ya es pasado.

Por que yo también fallé, porque no te valore y ni me valoraste.

Porque éramos jóvenes e inmaduros, porque nunca supimos qué hacer.

Te perdono porque continuas tu vida sin mi, me perdono por no haber arriesgado todo por ti.

Me perdono por no haberte dicho NO antes.

Me perdono por no saber si te amo o no.

Ahora lloró porque lo nuestro se acabo, pero de alguna manera siempre estaremos conectado por todo el cariño que nos queda.

Te perdono y te dejo ir.

Me perdono y doy permiso de irme y ser feliz.

Quiero que seas feliz .. quiero ser feliz.

Ahora sólo somos amigos, no volveremos a estar juntos románticamente y eso está bien.

No somos el uno para el otro, pero somos importantes el uno para el otro.

Sólo nos queda aprender de nuestros errores, no volverlos a cometer y saber que todo lo que nos pasa es lo mejor que nos puede pasar, es lo que elegimos y al final todo tiene un por qué.

Dios sabe el por qué de las cosas.

No sabemos de lo que nos está librando.

 

It’s never too late

I came to my home city but I didn’t tell much people. I thought because I wouldn’t have enough time to meet everyone and that’s true.

Well, the few friends I expected to see I didn’t. Because maybe they were too busy or didn’t care to see me. I cried yesterday, even when I act like things don’t matter.

I do believe, everyone was busy and the rainy weather didn’t help. On the other hand, people as Peter, Karen and Mill would probably have loved to meet me but I didn’t even tell them I was going.

Then I realized I much do much more with my friends, the ones back home and the news ones. I know money is a matter now that I live abroad, pay an expensive rent and earn almost minimum wage… But I shouldn’t let this to stop me going out with my friends.

Like that Sunday when Ray invited me out and I didn’t go. I just used Amy as excuse. I meant she was sad at home but I didn’t want to go also.

I think because I am lazy but I need to overcome this. Need to hang out more with friends and family.

It also made me sad I practically don’t see more of my family..

I thought about writing more to my friends and even maybe video call them to keep the relationship strong.

I need to go out more with friends.
Write my old friends.
Write to my family.

I can change now.. It’s. Not late.

And next time I’m Going back home. I will let everybody know in advance…

Did I tell you?

Did I ever tell you how I met Fabio?

Well, since I saw him in the laboratory I liked him and some how I knew he was Brazilian. He was a housemate of Edward, so I guess from him I knew his name.

One day, I got an email about the houses and he was on copy. Now, I had his name and email.

I have met him in the cafeteria a couple of times. We just said hi and smile. So, one day I wrote him in the company chat, just being friendly and polite.

I went on holidays to the beach.

I came back. He gave me his cellphone.
On Friday he asked me if I was in town. I was hitting the gym but after that we went out to a German named bar when we drank honey beer, my favorite in 2×1.

I got drunk and I think I told him Brazilians were handsome then he asked me… Then why you don’t kiss me?

Hahhahaa
That was the beginning. 😋🤩☺️😳😈🤫🤭