la nueva vida

 

¿Qué puede impedir, ángel mío, que dos personas que han compartido grandes sueños, que han sido compañeros de viaje mañana y noche durante meses, que han recorrido tanto camino juntos, se abracen y olviden el mundo que hay más allá de puertas y ventanas, que sean más reales que cualquier otra cosa, que encuentren ese momento incomparable de realidad?

El fantasma de un tercero.

No, querida, déjame que te bese en los labios porque a ese fantasma, que ya sólo es un nombre en las denuncias, le da miedo ser real. En cambio yo estoy aquí, mira […]

Fragment, The New Life, Orhan Pamuk

I dont love him

I decided to talk to him

I dont want to break his heart.

he was playing with my ring and told me the man who gives me an engagement ring would be a very lucking guy  that that I will be too, coz then I would have found THE ONE.

I think he knows he is not the one, but he says he wants to see me happy and smiling, because he loves my smile. 

 

envy is bad

We are taught that envy is bad …

 

but I can´t stop feeling kind of jealous overtime I see her Facebook, she married with a Japanese, lived in Japan and now lives in Finland… seems like is perfect for her having a great husband, a no-worries live and living abroad.

 

I know sure not everything is perfect, but that is my dream .. I want to marry too and live abroad. .. things have not been as I dreamed them, because I never chose to do what it takes to make it real.

 

But also is true that I didn’t meet The One who would take me away with all my baggage as some of my friends did.

 

my other friend went to France and she never came back, now she is married with a French guy and has a beautiful kid …

and me??

 

I am far away of all that …  very far away.

 

I heard you mustn’t search for love, because it comes when you less expected it … but maybe you will never have what you dream and you must accept you reality … 

or maybe you must change your reality until make it be what you wanted to be …

 

I love Josef, but I guess he should stand on his own now … thats what men do, don’t they??

 

Sadly, he is still a student … and cant even make his own living, no way he would help me so we can move together to his country ….

 

everything is so weird ….

 

at the end I see Serg was very smart not beginning something that has no way-to-be. 

dream 2

I dreamt I was with  a fortune teller and that she told me my future was in the UK, but that I shouldn’t believe I could make it on my own, like getting a job wouldn´t be easy, but that I have the support of my mom and that I should be nice with her, controlling my madness. 

giving birth ..

The other day I dreamt I was having a baby, I saw I gave birth ..

As I remember, the baby was a boy and he was healthy.

Next, I remember his father being not so interested in fatherhood. He was doing other things and I was mad at that.

I remember thinking ¨better alone, that in bad company¨

 

what does that mean?

I am sure Josef will never leave me and our son alone …

I guess, this dream is about the lack of security that he is giving me right now.

I hope all will be ok later. 

I read that dreaming the birth of a baby can mean that new projects are taking form and making reality.

I want to leave and start my business maybe it is related to that.