I’ve been thinking

He is hunting me.

I don’t know where he is.

I don’t know if I will ever see him again.

Suddenly he was in my mind again.

I saw him just two days in my life. He is a kung fu teacher assistant, black belt, in his early 30’s.

I remember his hair, his face, his beard. I adore men with beard.

He is the prototype of the men I would like as boyfriend.

He seems satisfied with his life. He is handsome, tall, in shape, probably a veggie.

Sadly. He is married with another black belt.

Maybe I should join to the lessons to meet some guys.

I’m 25 and my life is as boring as when I was younger.

I need some fun.

I’m tired of waiting for a man that is in other country.

I would like a new boyfriend who lives here and if its possible in my same neighbourhood.

I would like to enjoy this part of my life when I am single and have a good income.

And the one who left … well he is still in school, that’s why he left, he will be there one year more.

He has no job, no income.and I’m afraid he has no ambition in life.

I am kinda worried with him I won’t have a prosperous future.

Maybe I will with my children live with his parents having a miserable life.

I don’t know what I should do.

Right now. I just think of Mr. Right. Maybe he will appear someday.

Should I look for him?


it has been more than 3 years ago

It has been more than 3 years ago, 

but I still have yahoo messenger installed of my computer…. 

I wanted to do it before like I did maybe more than a year ago..

I did it … 

I clicked on his email and had a little battle to discovered how to read where the conversations are saved.

I found it.

It was Christmas 2009, we met in October and we were going to see again in January, but things where different that in November. I never knew what happened and why he changed suddenly.maybe it was for his therapist or maybe because of his trip to India with his ex-girlfriend.

Now years ago I really enjoy reading our last conversations and I even think that those were our best times. I really enjoyed it the frist part of our ¨relantionship¨ of less than 4 months.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and say ¨T… I hate this country¨ and he sent me back to sleep as the sleep terrorist I was.

He asked me to be a tour terrorist and bugging the tour guy all the trip I was going to make for New Year.

I loved how he talked about himself in third person. 

I loved our sense of fun, our jokes. 

I loved his gummy-bear vitamins.

Even my English improved with him. 

I loved his nerdy silliness.

I loved how we teased each other.

but I don’t love how he disappeared from my life. 

I guess I never loved but I got a bit obsessed and hurt after I realized he just used me. 

I used to think If I ever find him again (which will be a bit difficult because we live in different countries) I would hid even under the table in order to not see him. Now, that so many years have passed I think I would be ready to seat and talk to him. He probably married.

When I met Josef. I felt I could finally talk again to T and said, look, I am happy now too with a boyfriend from a country I used to hate. But, I would still be ashamed to tell him that my dream didn’t come true yet… I am still here.


Today is his birthday so I was just browsing to some of his pics.

He looks handsome.

I remember when we were in love.

I saw his family pics and I suddenly remembered why I am with Joseph, because he did everything to come to me.

But Hunter, never even said a word about me to his family.

Joseph introduce me to all his family, even his granny, lol.

and I must add they all loved me 😉

Yes, thats why I chose Joseph over all those men, he might not be the richest but I love him and I miss him so much.

It has been a year since the day he landed here…time passed so fast.

It´s funny but today I also remember Hassan … 

I don’t know anything about him since summer 2011. 

Maybe I just remembered him because of the book of Nicholas Sparks I am reading …

what can I say …I am a romantic …