Jos  talked to me,  he said that  we should start acting as single since we are both in different countries.  I said he was right.

Maybe he had an urge to get laid with that girl from his college,  maybe he is just tired.

I agreed.

He deserves  to be happy and I would like him to spend his bday being loved,  hugged,  kissed,  even if it’s by other girl.

There is no need to run for  happiness. 

At job,  Charly and I will quit next month. He wants to go first but I am worried that it would look suspicious  if I quit some days later…

Rosa told me I was a key member…  Key member that haven’t got a rise since July 2013 and that works,  works and works….

It need to be done.  I don’t wanna keep all the workload without Charlie and my flight to Portugal is ready.


its time

The time is here ..

I am gonna quit my job… after more than 3 years ..

I was cleaning my stuff when I found out my diplomas of Spanish Teacher .. I found two of them …

I put them in a folder … its time to use them ..

I am kind of nervous, but I should not .. its the time ..

IF I dont do it now, I would never do it … 


There are many things happening… there is nothing happening.

I miss writing but somehow I dont do it often anymore.

Yesterday, I went to a theatre to see a play of Chejov .. Uncle Vania. In Russia they call Ivans Vania. Sounds funny for a spanish speaker, because for us Vania is a girls name.

Anyway, I went with Kings, he is always there for anything I want to do and I am very mean to him sometimes, I dont know why. We went, it was dark, we didnt know the way but we ended up in a underground theatre in which the ticket window was attended by and old man that reminded me of Tostoy. Yes, it was a very bizzarre and unique night.

The play started. Kings and I were closed and somehow I felt nice.

I felt those kind of butterflies with his touch. We spent a nice time.

After the play, we walked to the metro station. I came back home to finish my book of Milan Kundera … 

yes, that book that my ex turkish lover used to talk about. I finished it.

I slept, after drinking those pills that will make me lose weight, and that the only thing that they seems to do is to make me scared of pooing my pants. 

I dreamt … I dreamt… I was playing with the little baby girl of my friend Dada. The creature is not even a one year-old, but I was with her (Even if she is in Istanbul). I was speaking to the baby in Spanish and somehow the baby knew some spanish words … it was very nice the time with the baby girl.

Then I was in my house, worried because I was not going to show up for a Law exam that I needed to past in order to graduate from College … then in the parking lot or somewhere outside my flat I saw him … it was Todd … but it wasnt him anymore.  This man was blond, and I think this man looks a bit like an Asian guy and was very tall.

But I knew it was Todd, I ran to stop him for leaving… and when then, face to face…

and yes, that all, he was still keeping an eye on me ..

I woke up happy …