I don’t want to think about you 

I got my period, so I suppose I’m not pregnant.

I thought about the possibilities. What would I have done if I was pregnant?

I think I would have had the baby, even with his dad living in Brazil. I would just have asked him to give him  his surname.

So, I could tell my son “your dad is Brazilian, syou will be a soccer player.” Hehe 

Yesterday iin the restaurant I was having lunch I saw two little boys in the table next to mine. I imagined how my child would and how I could be with him in the same restaurant some months later. 

I would like to have a baby boy..But I don’t think Fab and I would be together not even for a child.

But all these ideas are stupid. I’m not pregnant and maybe I  would ever meet again Fab. 

I have been thinking a lot  about  him lately. I should stop it. 

I don’t want to think about you. 

I’m not in love with him.  I don’t miss him. But I bet he would be a good dad and he definitely would provide a good DNA for a child.

No matter what I would get a pregnancy test, just in case. Second time in a year, way to go … 

Now go away of my thoughts…


Brainstorm of him 


The older brother 

Washing car business when young 

Worked in air engineering 

External business of software development 

He said he is an Ugly Brazilian 

Good football player 

He sitting as a God in my chair 

No one can stay next to you in bed and do nothing 

Hates cactus (nopal)

I don’t like girls paying 

Espresso Doble cortado

Difficult to please 

He is not a slave of his mobile phone 

“come to me “

You are dangerous 

Acting weird when we meet in the office in a place that is not the cafeteria

Why don’t you kiss me? 😘😘😘 (first kiss)

This is part of the game, going out, drinks… 

While drinking… Taste this (he wants to kiss me) 

What could go wrong? Everything went wrong… We could even become parents… 


He likes rocks 

Apple fan


You are crazier that I thought 

Don’t send me a picture with green hair, I want to remember you as now..

He put my name and a pic of me in a bus picture… he took time for this, this must mean something right?

Jueves 3 de agosto 

Esto es vida. Tome una ducha y me acosté en mi cama con solo una toalla sobre mi cuerpo húmedo. Puse el ventilador para que el suave aire secara mi cuerpo.
Mi cabello estaba aprisionado en otra toalla sobre la almohada. 
Estoy escuchando a Luis Miguel.
Sólo una vela aromática alumbra mi cuarto. 
Tengo mi Kindle y estoy leyendo a Murakami. 

Esto es vida, una deliciosa parte de la vida. 
Si me muevo mi cuerpo queda desnudo, descubierto de la toalla que lo arropa. 

Cuando me veo así recuerdo lo recuerdo, lo puedo ver encima de mi, amándome, besándome, poseyéndome. Es algo que no quiero olvidar. 
Acostarme con él, 8 años mayor y probablemente casado me hace pensar en una frase que leí en 1Q84 de Murakami “sex with a married woman ten years his senior was stress free and fulfilling, because it couldn’t lead to anything.”
Y así las cosas con el morocho brasileño, no pueden conducir a nadar.
Estar desnudo es una buena y fresca sensación, aunque me molesta mi pancita. Es hora de vestirme y quizás dormir ya que últimamente me despierto muy tarde.

 Quizás la causa es que mi vida diaria me aburre o que estoy muy cansada de kick boxing y box.
En algún momento tendré otro amante y dejaré de recordarlo. 
Luis Miguel sigue cantando… “el día que me quieras”