He is in town

He came to give a training in my city.

A friend we have in common told me to go to a bar to watch a match. I agreed since I had no way to escape, then ¬†I decided to invite F. it would be a good excuse, he would be safe since he would be sure we won’t end up in bed together.

I arrived late …thanks to the traffic of this stupidly insane metropoli. F. ¬†told me he had invited some Brazilians friends of him .. GREAT, I thought.

Finally, I arrived to the bar with Ed (my friend) and found F. alone sitting in a big table. His friends had been doing some shopping, later they arrived, one woman and two men, they were pretty nice and easy going.

We moved to a fancy sports bars because we wanted to watch the match. The Brazilian people was very nice cheering to the Peruvian team. One of them even sent some beers to another table where there was a guy wearing a Peru jersey… how cool. I have never seen this and it was nice to see it in a friendly environment.

When I arrived F. hugged me tight .. he always hugs for more time that I expect. My head hurted me a bit due my surgery. When we went moving to the other bar, he hugged me also while walking saying he was so glad to see me again.

Maybe he really appreciates me like a friend .. he was really glad to see me. Later, after returning from the bathroom he hugged me and Ed saying we were his best friends in this country.

Now I get it … I prefer he cares about me as a human being that he waiting to fuck me.

We had a very nice night. I talked in Portuguese with the Brazilian people and they said I had a good accent. He was grabbing me from the waist .. like a game for him being mad at me or something when I was saying something to bother him. It was pretty funny and a bit painful.

We took an Uber and somehow we hold hands. I was watching at him ..he is so handsome … I was admiring him really… Anyway, when he left we kissed as friends do. ¬†I am not sure if he is worried about him falling again in my bed … maybe he met someone else during his way working in Panama… but come on, I should not been thinking about this. I think our lips were near when he left.

After he left .. I wrote him on whatsapp that he was so handsome and hot .. he just replied I was drunk .. probably then fall asleep. Before leaving the Uber he had told us, ¬†remember guys I will be here so we can go out …

But today I wrote him about going out at night … and well, he took too much time in answering and at the end ..we didn’t go anywhere. I guess it was better this way.

Plus, I will start to value him as a person as a friend more than as a piece of meat.

I was wrong … I would treat him as a friend.. that I slept with a couple of times. .. but as a friend I like and I respect.

I was looking pretty today … I am happy now, I was down a couple of hours before.. but now I see how things are. ¬†We are friends .. I will try to convince him to come again so we can visit the pyramids.

He is a great man, I admire him and must keep his friendship.

One thing that I found a bit weird is that before he was never taking pics and now he sent me many pics of him. I used to thought I would never get a pic of him besides the ones I screenshot from his WhatsApp picture, haha. He even took pictures of him on my phone and let them there.¬† He took a pic of us 3 in my phone and later asked me to sent to him. Finally I have a nice picture of my good Brazilian friend. He even told Ed and I we could go anything to Brazil … hmmm.¬†

 

 

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o que voc√™ faz comigo?

I decided the Brazilians guys were over. I decided to move on. I even told Josef about them. I don’t expect to see Josef anymore, so why not? What we had is over.Plus, I don’t want him to have any illusion about me.

So, why does it bother me when he does not write me? Maybe, it hits my ego, but it is the natural way of things to finish. We are not a couple anymore.

So, Fabs came back and he just told me on whatsapp after days without writing me anything at all. Maybe he didn’t write me because I saw the picture of he with his little daughter, so I assume he assumes (lol) now I know he is married. Perhaps he thinks I have a problem with this …do I? No, I don’t have it at all. In fact, I always knew he was married, I saw his rings a couple of times. I was just pretending I didn’t know to calm down my guilt.

Guilt? Why should I be guilty? I can’t go around asking to all the men I met .. are you married?¬† It is his sin, not mine. Or at least, I want to think like that.

People can get lonely. We were lonely. To be honest, he is kinda boring I am always the one who talks and tells funny stories. But I find him very attractive and… I don’t know anyone else who I want to sleep with now.

I know this relation can’t go anywhere.. and that is pretty fine for me.

I was thinking that all last year was amazing, because I was living in other city,¬† enough far to allow me to live life the way I wanted. Thinking seriously, I brought home 4 guys to my house …¬† Ed which was a total lame in bed,¬† Sam, who didn’t know that inviting someone over to watch Netflix means to get laid (that wasn’t my intentions to him), my coworker who just went to my home to have a nap… and Fab ..who is fabulous.

I dislike living back here. I need to tell where I am going… I am not free as before, and certainly I can not bring someone home. Also, moving here is more difficult and expensive. Such stories could not have passed in other city than in Q.¬† I love Q.

I won’t write him anymore. I am not sure of what I should do. Well, I am under recovery after a surgery I had last Tuesday and I still not sure where the¬†stitches can be removed. Sometimes, when I do some movements, I feel as if they could ¬®break¬® and that is certainly something I want to avoid. I think the Canada plan would delay to 2018, since I want to be totally sure of my recovery. A week has passed and I still feel them numb… I hope it will end soon.

Fab was talking to me long .. because he had questions about he skydiving¬† .. I wonder if that is just the reason … or if he wants to see me too. Well, I am sure he wants to meet, if not why he told me he is back …as Panda said its surely not to go to the library to read.

Thats fine for me … I don’t want him for something serious.