Today I had a dream about Josef, I dreamt he came to see me, he was looking very good and I told him something like I almost don talk to you because I dont want to know that you have someone else in your life, I cant stand that. I cant see you happy with someone else.
After my dream I wrote to him that we should meet. I thought we could meet again before deciding if we belong together or not. His answer were not so clear. He told me he had someone now (as I thought) and that even she might be pregnant now.
All I needed to now. It is over.
Maybe God is saving me from something. I remember many things I didnt like about Josef, like his lack of ambition.
I think is better this way.
I cried, yes I did. I won´t deny it.
Maybe is my fear of staying alone forever. But I shouldnt see people as an option.
Yesterday, José wrote me and told me he got divorced and that we would love to see me .. maybe from there was that I dreamt about Josef.
He never told me personal details of his life .. I did … I told him about the brazilians, etc.
He just told me once he would marry one girl there. When he was drunk a couple of times he sent me messages saying I am the one that I should go fast or all is over.
But now all is over.
It is ok, so I don´t see him as an option.
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d have to miss the dance