Depression is stalking me … 11 OCT 2018

Everything started by him telling he was going to marry.

I concludedI the day and I was right.

I thought it would not affect me, and even by knowing the day. I felt OK.

Some days later, I found of some of my colleagues went out together and as usual, they didnt invite me.

To be honest, it touched me, and I refused to go to the party they had on Sunday night.

I stayed at home thinking about excused I could make for not going… That was like seeing an old picture of my life…

On Saturday I didn’t have volunteer so I could rest and I got better for my flu.

I decided to go to the English cafe with Yumi and it was nice. I met a handsome Chinese guy and a Turkish guy.

But we didn’t go to dinner so I came back home early, during the commuting some drunk guy introduced himself to me .. I was nervous because I don’t like to deal with such people, they can be dangerous I think, but I got off in the next station.

  

On Monday, I went to work as usual … but after leaving my job place I took the bus and I couldn’t help myself .. and I started crying.

Why?

So many emotions were in my heart hiding… and I think I know why …

For the rejection I felt from my coworkers … It did hurt me …

For his wedding …. It did hurt me

My trainers stolen outside my house … It doesn’t hurt, but it was not a good think.

For my pitiful raise of 2.75% that is around 0.35 Cents. … a fucking joke…

All these hurt me …  even if I act as it doesn’t.

I saw a picture of the wedding through Vikis WhatsApp status.

I started searching for wedding ideas, thinking my wedding would be much better than his.

But what If? What If I never married?

I talked to him yesterday, I felt envy for everything he got for me… and how I did not get anything.

I know it is not a good feeling.

I really think I must stop talking to him.. It won’t take me to anywhere.

What happen …happens .

You know, I think if his girlfriend were not pregnant we could be together and today I thought.. Why you didn’t wait for me?

It is over.

he wrote me in his wedding day:

Wish me luck laf. And one thing I can and will promise you on this day. I will always love you and keep ur place in my heart and if u will want it, you will have me in ur life… God bless you 🙅‍♂

idiot …  I should get away …

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