Friday 21th Saturday 22th July, 2017 

He left yesterday, on Saturday 22th July. He left my house around 05:30 am, I was waiting for his taxi to arrive. It was cold, he put my jacket hat on me. When the taxi arrived I said stupid things, like see you soon, or maybe never… I think words were not necessary.  
After being in the Irish pub he said he would go with home to make sure I was safe. I was not sure if we would sleep together again. He didn’t let me drink this night.  
We arrived home. I literally told him “estou com vontade de você”. I wanted him. I forgot my sickness and I started kissing him. I took off my shirt. He wanted it too. 
So, this was your plan since the beginning? He said. I replied I thought we would only have dinner. You are dangerous he added. I know why he told me dangerous many things. He could not help himself, he wanted me. That’s why he ran away from me that day of the movies. He likes me, I think he likes me very much. 
We made love on that Saturday early morning. The first time we were both sober. We didn’t have condoms. He promise he would be careful to not cum inside me again. 
Before I thought I was just a sexual object for him, a fun, there he just used me. But this night he was different with me, that’s why I said we made love. He kissed me a lot, he kissed my body, and was very nice with me. There was a kind of tenderness between us. 
He had to stop around three times in order to not finish. He counted and even thought about his panda boss. He told me to stop doing a thing that drove him crazy (I didn’t know it was working). 
That night was special for me. At the end I was caressing his face. 
I got closer to him. He is not very open to people, but this night we got closer. I feel “loved” and sex was good, hehe. 
I just hope there’s no a baby asconsequence a of such great night 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Thursday 20th July 2017

On Wednesday I decided to avoid gym, I had taken the postday pills on Monday and I was feeling weak after a new session of kickboxing with the new trainer. 
I arrived early at home to find bound Hector was not longer living in the house. I suppose it was OK since he had been a pain in the bass during the last couple of days. This was the end of my favorite roomies. 
I put my shorts on but I probably left my room twice when I went to wash my bandage for kickboxing. Probably, it was d there when I got sick. I was doing so stuff to finish a report and suddenly at night I feel pain in my throat. I thought with sleep and tea all would be fine next day. 
On Thursday, Fabs asked me if I could grab him anything to eat on the go, of course I would, I told him I would stop at Starbucks and I got coffee and a sandwich for him. Damn, I forgot my Starbucks card that day and I still need to get it back.
I arrived to my office and realized I forgot my computer at home, I decided to left. I visited the doctor and got some injections 😖💉
I went home and sleep a bit in the noon. After, he wrote me to check how I was since he didn’t see me during lunch. I took my car to wash and he told me that he was leaving on Saturday, as it was planned since the beginning. I was shocked, so fast. I thought we would have more time to spend together, but thanks to Eduardo I realized we didn’t. 
Fabs told me on the company’s chat but I didn’t see it because I was sleeping. I felt a bit sad and empty. 
I had said to Fabs that we should go to take coffee again in that Irish place he liked (excuse for me). He said it was probably going to rain and that I should not leave my house. I said I was feeling better since I just wanted to spend time with him.  
I told him we could get some good to be delivered at home and I did order some Argentinian food that arrived fast at home. He brought a coke.
As usually, there was no a movie to watch. I remember once he kissed me in the face, as I have Faringitis it was not a good idea to kiss and I thought we would not spend another night together due my sickness. 
I asked him about his ideal job and he said it would be to have his own company of software development.. But to make a difference, to create something it would make an impact in the life of others. He is great. I admire him. 
He left around 1 am, he came to my home to check how I was. He said I looked OK. He asked me in the afternoon, how many days you have left? When I told him I went to the doctor. 
When he told me he would come I felt happy, I was jumping of happiness and I got tired. I just like to spend time with him.
Taxi came and we kissed on the lips. I thought maybe I would not see him again. Or maybe yes, on Friday in the office.  

He was joking me how Dr hagrid would be so happy on Friday to inject me and see my ass jaja. Because Fabs is a PM and he doesn’t know how to do it. 

Friday 7th July, 2017

That Friday I invited a lot of people to the gym to go clubbing, why? Because I want to go out with ¨The Brazilian, Fabs who is my fav”.

The night started with me arriving rushing to my house. Taking out my Net stockings that I had just bought for this night. I had a wine color dress and some booties. I think I was looking very nice, but yeah, I am a bit chubby.

I arrived late to meet Peter and he and I went to a nice brewery. They had delicious craft beer. Gaby arrived later and around 10:30 we moved to the club.

Fabs hadn’t  arrived, he arrived around midnight and I was already drunk.

I remember texting him, hurry up, since the most time it passes the more difficult is for me to unblock my phone. Finally, he arrived, gosh, he is hot.

Cari and Gabi told me he was very fine… a gay blondie, Paco, also said..he hated me for being eating such a guy.

I remember we were dancing, reggeaton and hip hop, I also, remember (kinda) that I was sitting in the club. Later, I found out I actually fell asleep twice that night.

I remember going towards Fabs and he was just trying to calm me down saying ¨despacito¨to me, haha.  Later, he told me it was because I was like crazy, and spilled his drink 4 times.

Gaby was making out with a teenager that was next to us. Later, she escaped without paying her part of the bill, also she took Peter´s money, because he left early, more less at the time that Fabs arrived.  Cari and Gaby said because he is into me, and well, I was very busy with Fabs, of course.

I tried to pay my part of the bill. That night we drank Buchanan´s. But, this gentleman of course didn’t let me pay. Next time in the gym, Cari told me, Fabs was very nice all night with me, taking care I didn’t fall, just standing in front of me watching me while I was sleeping in the club, jaja, paying my bill and taking me home.

We came home, and yes, again had irresponsible intercorse.  I don’t remember much, He finished on my back and sent me to take a shower. I did, left the bathroom with a towel on and lay in bed. He went to the bathroom … 

Thats all I remember. I woke up next day alone in my bed. He had left, as he did the Friday before.

I was feeling a bit sad .. nostalgic or empty …

But I didn’t have much time to be sad. Next I had to drive around 25 mins to check a house I wanted to buy. My mom came also to checked, at the end she got mad because the sellers want me to sign some documents but still it was not for sure that I would get my house, so why to sign?

Anyway, my mom was right when things are for you …they simply are, and it seems that house was not for me. It was too far away from the center, probably not a Smart decision.

I had told Fabs that we could do a lot of things on Saturday and Sunday.

But he barely wrote me during that weekend… I didn’t want to bother him. He knew the plans I had and if he didn’t say a Word.. it was obvious his answer.

I slept in the afternoon, maybe to see the time pass, trying to avoid thinking he didn’t write to me.

And well, yes, I was waiting for he to write to me ….but I didn’t want to bother him.

Otra vez hay un brasileño en mi vida

Es muy guapo, es alto tiene el cuerpo tonificado y una actitud que lo hace verse como un campeón.

La primera vez que lo vi fue cuando yo estaba en el laboratorio. El acababa de llegar y su jefe le estaba mostrando la oficina, yo le abrí la puerta y me di cuenta que era muy guapo, él llevaba puesto un saco, ese saco que lo hace ver tan atractivo.

Yo lo veía a veces en el comedor pero nunca pensé que él y yo tendríamos algo. 

Eduardo resultó ser roomie del brasileño, qué coincidencia. Creo, por eso, él sabía quién era yo. Porque un día Eduardo y él fueron a mi lugar a pedirme un vaso pero yo no tenía.

Otro día me lo encontré en la cafetería, pero como ya saben nunca sé qué decir, así que nuestra conversación fue Hola, qué tal, adiós.

Un poco después, me encontré un correo que él había mandado y por casualidad llegó hacia mí y decidí hablarle y lo hice. Escribí su nombre, abrí la ventana del chat y le dije Hola. Él me contestó Hola Dani. Yo estaba un poco nerviosa porque no sabía qué él iba a pensar de una chica loca y desconocida escribiéndole. Pero él fue muy amable, hablamos un poco todo, normal. Le comenté que yo estaba aprendiendo portugués.

Unos días después él me dijo Agrégame a WhatsApp y entonces ya dije okay a él le agradó, obviamente.

Entonces un viernes me preguntó ¿estás aquí o te fuiste a tu ciudad? y le conteste estoy aquí vamos a tomarnos algo y fuimos a un bar al que antes iba con mis amigos, que tiene un nombre en alemán.

La noche Fue increíble tomamos whisky con cerveza, platicamos mucho y yo creo al final de la noche yo le comenté algo como eres muy guapo y él me preguntó Entonces por qué no me besas Y pues lo besé muchas veces y después le pregunté qué vas a hacer mañana y me contestó depende de donde duerma hoy.

Entonces coma era obvio que él me estaba dando entrada y eso me pareció muy bien pero mi cuarto estaba hecho un desorden. Así que entre mi borrachera lo único que le dije fue Bueno mañana te invito a mi casa porque hoy es un desorden Y entonces nos fuimos a nuestra casa o sea cada quien la suya.

El sábado le dije Vamos a comer algo yo te invito fuimos a un restaurante de comida mexicana y creo que no nos gustó mucho el lugar, era diferente, era un poco pequeño y oscuro. Comimos estuvo regular, estuvo bien y después yo intenté pagar la cuenta a lo que él dijo “No me gusta esto, no me gusta que las chicas paguen”. Entonces, yo guardé mi cartera y nunca más la volví a sacar ja ja

Después fuimos a un bar curiosamente al mismo bar al que fui la primera vez con el primer brasileño pero ahora iba con otro brasileño que es totalmente diferente al primero. El primero era güero y este es un Morocho, la verdad es más guapo el Morocho pero el güero tiene una actitud increíble. Así que yo creo que todo es actitud.

Estábamos en el bar hasta que cerraron y era hora de irnos a mi casa por lo que dije Okay vamos a mi casa. Vinimos a mi casa. Tuvimos sexo, sexo sin protección y me acuerdo de él sentado en mi silla desnudo y yo pensando “No puedo creerlo”. Él se veía como un dios griego sentado en mi silla desnudo y bueno pasó lo que tenía que pasar, de hecho pasó lo que no tenía que pasar. Él terminó dentro de mí pero Okay existe la pastilla del día siguiente. Se fue a su casa, pidió un Uber, me puse unos shorts y lo acompañé a la puerta y él se fue

El domingo fui al gym y él me preguntó si quería ir al centro comercial, al que está al norte y yo claro que le dije sí, sí. Después me puse a pensar que porque tenía que hacer lo que él decía. Tal vez porque yo quería pasar tiempo con él sin importar Cómo. Pero bueno fuimos al centro comercial, comimos hamburguesas. Él me había comprado la pastilla del día siguiente pero yo también la había comprado. Supongo que fue “tierno” de su parte comprarla también. Caminamos, tomamos café en Starbucks y como no había mucho que hacer me dijo que viniéramos a mi casa para recoger su reloj. Vinimos a mi casa y volvimos a tener sexo otra vez sin protección Pero esta vez no terminó creo porque lo detuve para ponerse un condón pero ya después no pasó nada. La película estaba en la pantalla pero nadie la veía, después dieron las diez y se tenía que ir, es tarde me dijo y se fue.

Se me olvidó decir que la primera vez que salimos fue el viernes a la hora de la comida que fuimos a una cafetería alemana, entonces él se sorprendió “Sólo vamos tú y yo“ y le dije sí Y él me invitó y fue una comida muy linda.

Ese día el estaba hablando por teléfono, quizás con su mujer, decía algo como que estaba trabajando y por eso no pudo contestar, creo él me dijo algo de unas deudas, pero no recuerdo mucho.

Brainstorm

9th May 2017, we talked.

the walk of shame … or walk of pride …

cafeteria meeting 9.20

Showering together

Crying together 

he loved my eyes, he said my eyes said I loved him ..in the spanish-portuguese way.

saudade de voce

jeito carinhoso rythm

people at his hotel knew him and greet him

black shirt … he greeted me and kiss me

his eyes watering … 

my eyes watering…

pretty woman

He laughing of my thousands of alarms 

He taking many pictures of me. Like when I twas trying to fix my hair. 

My Brazilian …

He deserve some good words.

I will just ride a brainstorming to not forget what he meant to me.

First time we met – Kitchen I was with JJ in our secret coffee date, but he saw me. Smile and winked to me. It was obvious he wanted to talk to me. I smiled back shyly.

Second time – I was going to the kitchen again with JJ. He was walking to the place were my friend Eduardo walks. He was with his friend. But he openly smiled to me, winked and wave his hand. I smiled. Later I asked JJ , did you him) He replied, yes he seems to want to kiss you a some more.

That was on Friday I think. I decided to go to visit Eduardo to saw my Brazilian guy. I saw him but he was busy in his computer so I could not get his attention … I left …

During the weekend I was thinking about him and how to reach him.

On Monday, a Chines guy told me the training was over last Friday and Eduardo said it too .. its over he is back to Brazil.

I was thinking how stupid I was to lose my chances.

But no…. life is wise.

In the canteen, I saw him, I was in the line and he was already eating. He was also smiling and waving to me.

on Tuesday, I was in the right place at the right time. In the cafeteria around 9.20 am. There were so many people, he was there. He came to me and greeted me with two kisses, I was just expecting one but he said in Brazil you kiss twice. I was frozen and just smiled.

People left and he did too. I was thinking about how stupid I acted. Eduardo told me I lost my chance that I should have talked something or do something else. Then he came back for coffee (kinda) he grabbed my shoulder and said something as …well, we have to work. I think he said it in Portuguese.

I joked Eduardo that he came back just to see me. Some hours later, he told me it was true. He came back to the cafeteria to see me.

During the lunch, we were together in the line. He asked my name and said he was going to look for me in the messenger of the company.

He did, he added me on whatsapp and we planned to met that night …

I knew there was no time to lose.