Prettier than you think

My friend Daniel told me I am prettier than I think I am.

During many time I feel less attractive than the average girls. They were all with nice make up and such.

But I think I am pretty. No, I don’t think .. I am sure.

The other day a customer told me I had a beautiful smile… he liked me … and he was a nice guy, blond and such.

I should have said something else butI just said thanks.

That date also a man was waving at me from a van, haha.

The other day a man randomly in the subway told me in Spanish that I have nice eyes…

The Taiwanese guy told me I had a nice skin colour, haha.

I am an attractive woman .. I must use it or lose it.

I shouldn’t forget it … I am an attractive woman …

I remember the first time Walter saw me. He just saw me and he got caught in my beauty.

and come on, such as attractive guy as Fabio …

and Laf, Sergey, etc.

I am hawt! I must face it!

I feel specially pretty when I wear a strong lipstick. 💄💋

My eyelashes are a problem though. When I put the fake lashes. I think I looked very beautiful.

I remember when I landed in Amsterdam, Sergey saw me and kissed me …

I am beautiful!😉😎☺️😚🤩😘

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Did I tell you when I blackout?

It was in QO in the house I shared with some roomies.

It was with Fabio, the super hot brazilian guy.

I don’t remember anything. He told me.

I think that day we went to a club. It was a great night with my gym friends.

Man, I miss those days.

I was so happy such days.

I remember was we were arriving to my home, and he was kissing me and bend me over to a table that was outside, I asked him to stop since, there was a camera my landlord have, hahaha.

My landlord was crazy but he is a good man, a christian guy.

I remember once his little son asked me if I had a boyfriend.. haha.

You see the good thing about writing is that you just keep and keep …

I wanted to talk about the day I blackout while having sex with Fabio and I ended up so far away… my mind is just wandering with not destination.

It’s never too late

I came to my home city but I didn’t tell much people. I thought because I wouldn’t have enough time to meet everyone and that’s true.

Well, the few friends I expected to see I didn’t. Because maybe they were too busy or didn’t care to see me. I cried yesterday, even when I act like things don’t matter.

I do believe, everyone was busy and the rainy weather didn’t help. On the other hand, people as Peter, Karen and Mill would probably have loved to meet me but I didn’t even tell them I was going.

Then I realized I much do much more with my friends, the ones back home and the news ones. I know money is a matter now that I live abroad, pay an expensive rent and earn almost minimum wage… But I shouldn’t let this to stop me going out with my friends.

Like that Sunday when Ray invited me out and I didn’t go. I just used Amy as excuse. I meant she was sad at home but I didn’t want to go also.

I think because I am lazy but I need to overcome this. Need to hang out more with friends and family.

It also made me sad I practically don’t see more of my family..

I thought about writing more to my friends and even maybe video call them to keep the relationship strong.

I need to go out more with friends.
Write my old friends.
Write to my family.

I can change now.. It’s. Not late.

And next time I’m Going back home. I will let everybody know in advance…

Jueves 3 de agosto

Esto es vida. Tome una ducha y me acosté en mi cama con solo una toalla sobre mi cuerpo húmedo. Puse el ventilador para que el suave aire secara mi cuerpo.
Mi cabello estaba aprisionado en otra toalla sobre la almohada. 
Estoy escuchando a Luis Miguel.
Sólo una vela aromática alumbra mi cuarto. 
Tengo mi Kindle y estoy leyendo a Murakami. 

Esto es vida, una deliciosa parte de la vida. 
Si me muevo mi cuerpo queda desnudo, descubierto de la toalla que lo arropa. 

Cuando me veo así recuerdo lo recuerdo, lo puedo ver encima de mi, amándome, besándome, poseyéndome. Es algo que no quiero olvidar. 
Acostarme con él, 8 años mayor y probablemente casado me hace pensar en una frase que leí en 1Q84 de Murakami “sex with a married woman ten years his senior was stress free and fulfilling, because it couldn’t lead to anything.”
Y así las cosas con el morocho brasileño, no pueden conducir a nadar.
Estar desnudo es una buena y fresca sensación, aunque me molesta mi pancita. Es hora de vestirme y quizás dormir ya que últimamente me despierto muy tarde.

 Quizás la causa es que mi vida diaria me aburre o que estoy muy cansada de kick boxing y box.
En algún momento tendré otro amante y dejaré de recordarlo. 
Luis Miguel sigue cantando… “el día que me quieras”