I guess he moved on..

I wanted him to stop bothering me, but I suppose it bothers me that he moved on, since I keep doing the same.  I am in the same place as when he left.

Sometimes I have thought about getting back to his arms, but then I remember I would just do that to fulfill my loneliness. No, I dont love him, but at times I miss his company.

He was crazy, but he took care of me when I was sick.


I found this just now in my drafts and I have no idea whom I am talking about …

I guess about Joseph, but I am not sure hehe



central american men

Yes, other man in my list.

So, we work together … online, since he we lived in different countries.

I don’t remember how come he ended up in my whatsapp list.

So, since almost one year I work with him. I remember once he has the picture of he and a girl and I asked if she was his girlfriend. He said she was.

Other day, I was confusing about love and I remember he told me that when he/she is the one, you just know it and that he was sure his girlfriend was the one.

We used to talk and he was always inviting me to his country. I replied his girlfriend would kill me.  He said they had many problems, that she is too difficult and probably by December he would have no girlfriend.

What a liar! HE really knows how to play his cards.

So, we met in Panama. Destiny? Probably. I was flying to my country and he was flying to Amsterdam.  The chances were minimal but we met. I saw him in fact. and I double thought about saying HI or not. While thinking my body already walked towards him and said: hey it’s me … Samantha!!!!

I was nervous, he looked more handsome in person that in the many pictures of him that I stalked  hahaha .

I felt shy because I wasn’t looking great. We had a beer and later we said bye. We stayed together like 1 hour. After this he started his way to Amsterdam and I my way to home and later to China. When I arrived to HK I met Ana. We spent the night there and next day we travelled to continental China.

On Sunday afternoon we arrived to SZ. I texted him telling we were already in the training city. He came and I greeted him normally but he grabbed me close to him. It was a bit strange for me, but then I knew, he wasn’t indifferent towards me.

On Monday he wanted to take a selfie with me 🙂 I don’t remember if that day he came to my hotel room and instead sitting on my chair he lied on my bed … hmm ok I thought.

On Tuesday he said he needed my help for some work issues. He came and we finished working in 5 minutes. Later he went to smoke in the balcony and told me to go with him. We talked for an hour, and it was obviously he was going to kiss me.  He finally did. It was a warm night, it was very cool. We came in and we kept kissing … We spent the night together … but no, we didn’t shag.  All was very nice.

We slept together 3 night. The second night he wanted to shag me, but I refused since we didn’t have condoms and plus my period… maybe I was lucky we didn’t shag.

Later, it was time to go to HK and Beijing, where I shared room with Ana and He with Diogo. We didn’t have the chance to sleep together again, but we were kissing and touching when no one was seeing. It was fun.

After 11 days together he had to go back home. We said BYE in the airport, all of the team. And his goodbye was too casual. So, I thought all started in China and all finished there. But when I came back he kept writing me and calling my ¨love¨ and such.

We continue chatting, talking and seeing us in video. The things became hot but it was a time when I didn’t feel comfortable and I was about to tell him, If you want to shag instead bothering me by text you should go and shag your girlfriend. Dammit, I knew it, he has a girlfriend. I knew this have to end. So, This weekend he told me he fought with his girlfriend because she didn’t want to meet his son. Yeah, he has a girlfriend, but also a baby boy who was conceived when he still has a girlfriend (as I understand).

WOW, he is really a bad news, right? Anyway, It put all in perspective. I like him and he is my friend and that is how things should stay.  🙂

What I learnt from this is that …men cheat … I wonder if there are men who don’t cheat. I’m not sure.

No, what I really learnt is what I want in a man .. many characteristics that he has, besides not being Brad Pitt he is handsome, has style, dress nicely, has dream, a proper job, ambitions, has the photo of his gf in his wallet and phone.

Many things that he has I hope to find it in a boy who loves me…