23 June The best version

Today I was listening to the meditation of Deepak Chopra.

He was talking about success …and what is really that?

I believe success is to be true to yourself and do what makes you happy.

So, What am I on Earth for?

I discovered this a couple of months or maybe years ago… I came to this world to SERVE, to help … but this is very broad … I am working to make it more precise, I am here to support people who feel sad, to encourage them.

I am here to hug the ones who feel lonely, because I have felt lonely before.

But now, I want to be the best version of me, to be a real example for others of how to be the best version of theirselves.

today, Saturday 23 of June, I will make this my goal, to encourage others to be the best by being an example of this.

how am I going to attain this?

-Getting a fit body, for health more than beauty

-Daiting the boy I like. I will invite him out. If not, it is fine.

-Letting the past go. Bye Laf, Good Bless you.

-I will be a friend of my friends.

-Getting the job I want.  I deserve the job I want, I willl apply, I won’t be scared.

I can be the best version of me and everybody else can.

I want my life to be a living proof that everything is possible, an example. I want to encourage people.


Cuando íbamos

Domingo 20 de mayo 2018

Hoy recordé cuando iba con Pedro a hacer el super después de ir al gym.

Era en domingo, hacía calor pero iba en mi camioneta y el en su coche.

Era divertido.

Me gustaba vivir en esa ciudad e ir a ese gimnasio y a ese super. Me sentía libre, independiente.

Después en casa no había nadie que me molestara.

Pedro era un buen amigo, el que decía, aquello que te choca hacer es lo que más necesitas hacer.

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote.

Wednesday, May 16

Last time I wrote, I was “in love” of Fabs, the Brazilian guy. Months have passed since then. And today I talked with him, hehe.

At the moment I’m not romantically involved with any man. Sadly or wisely.

I moved to Canada in January 2nd.

I remember I used to be concerned about how it would be before I was applying for my study program. But I did it and I have been here for four months already.

Time flies.

At school I made a friend from my city but in February she started dating with a Swiss guy from our class, now they are in a relationship and we don’t hang out anymore. During all January we used to hang out practically every weekend and sometimes after class. Thanks to her I joined the gym.

Later, I met other friends. I think, tho I am not sure if they can be called friends and I don’t Care.

This was my chance to start again but I think I haven’t changed a lot or maybe I did.

Later I made friends of my roommates that are mostly from my same country and from a young girl from Vietnam. She is still a teenager so sometimes she is annoying hehe.

I started worked at a restaurant. OMG! I hate when I have to go, but I haven’t gone in 3 days and I already missed it.

Yesterday, I decided to go to my work party in the south of the province. OMG, it was so far away. I arrived late because I had to go to school, but I am glad I went to the party.

I met my Brazilian coworker in the last subway station and then we took a bus and walked and got lost so finally at 17hrs we made it.

I got surprised this girl is just 19 yo, this is crazy I am so much older than her..  :O

I spent a nice time even if I just stayed few hours to the party. At the end, a girl wanted to leave and I said, ok I can go with you. Which, was a good decision so I actually arrived faster to my home and I had to chanced to talk to her. She is older than me, and she is also here studying and well, she is living and facing the same things I am.

Something, Eduard told me before was that we need friends of our age or older and that is totally fine. I mostly hang with younger people but I need friends of my age or older, so I can grow up more .

Late Late Late

My period was soo late this month.

Around 13-15 days.

This was the second time in all my life that my period comes so late.

The first time was in January 2018, after spending my holidays in Prague.

and now in this May. I wasn’t worried because I didn’t get laid like in ages.

But still it makes me wonder if maybe something was wrong with my body.

I think I should start eating better.

I miss you

I noticed today was Fab´s birthday and I decided to congratulate him.

He said he misses me.

I wonder if he does. .. maybe he does because he has not a reason to say it if he doesn’t feel this way.

He is in my hometown now I told her I am going this weekend. But I dont think we are going to meet. I dont care now.

Maybe because I didn’t get fit as I wanted, but also because I got over him a lot time ago.

But he is my friend still and I like him and I think maybe he didn’t lie to me and I am special to him.  He is 38 yo now, but he is still hot as fire.


Fuck me badly once ..shame on you

Fuck me badly twice …shame on me

I should have known it.  Today I had a presentation with a Korean and Chinese classmates. This Chinese girl is weird, her attitude confuses me. It is like she doesn’t understand what needs to be done and just want do things her way.

She told me she has a a business. She and her boyfriend knows how to get scholarships to go to study to China, either Chinese languages, or a Bachelor´s, Masters, etc. She said she can send me there for free but also want me to help her to sell such services to the Spanish speaking world. She guarantees you to get the scholarship to study in China but you should pay her agency, 20% of the total amount of the scholarship. That is a lot of money.

2 weeks ago I went to have lunch to her house, but it was weird. I arrived and they told me, now you can cook. What? Wasn’t I a guess? She and her Korean boyfriend were nice, but still different, maybe because they have other culture.

But back to the presentation, before we worked together and she took forever to finish the PPT. In fact, she finished at dawn and this time, even when I started the file days ago, she didn’t even put an slide in the ppt until tomorrow at 11 pm and she changed everything and put some crazy stuff.

She wants to do such crazy things that of course they finished being all wrong.  She event deleted ¨by mistake¨ the slide about our organization chart. I didn’t get angry, but I wasn’t happy with her and she could notice.

The teachers destroyed our presentation, but at least this time it was longer. (Last month, my team did also poorly and I had to talk whatever I could to spend more time).

I would never work with this girl in any project and I think the business with her would also not work.

I shouldn’t be scared to say NO. No, thanks. I don´t want to work with you.

but, I am improving anywhere.

I am just getting better.






Good news finally 051217 wed

Todavía me siento mal por lo de la cirugía y últimamente me duele la cabeza cuando me despierto, yo creo por hacer presión al dormir.

El martes y hoy tuve buenas noticias.

Ayer en la mañana fui a hacer unos análisis prenupciales, jaja, como si fuera a casarme. 😞😔 Los pedí así porque era más fácil que pedir un examen de vih y otro de enfermedades venereas. Porque este año viví irresponsablemente y me acosté sin protección con un ruso y un brasileño.

Me dio risa cuando el laboratorista me preguntó para que eran los análisis y respondí que porque me iba a casar. Jaja

Tuve miedo de que los resultados fueran positivos, y que incluso me vetaran para casarme o algo así, parece que me estaba creyendo lo de la boda.

En las noches los resultados estaban listos y decidí abrirlos… ViH NEGATIVO, VDRL NEGATIVO. ¡Qué nervios!

Esa fue la primera buena noticia de la semana.

La segunda es que mi visa ya esta aprobada y mi pasaporte estará conmigo en estos días por lo cual estará conmigo a tiempo para ir a Perú. ☝️☝️☝️

La tercera buena noticia es que fui a la ginecóloga, con todos los exámenes que me han hecho, y me confirmo que estoy sana según los análisis, solo me dio médicamento para una úlcera… Así que espero se me quite el dolor que me da algunos días.

Ya no le escrito al brasileño. El sábado, cuando fui de rogona otra vez a decirle que viniera a visitarme a mi ciudad, me dijo que estaba en Panamá y que como soy su mejor amiga solo yo en el mundo sabia eso.

Supongo es mejor así. Después de la última vez que nos vimos es cuando empezaron mis molestias que me hicieron ir hoy al doctor. Y también el es la razón por la cual me hice lo exámenes prenupciales. 😖

Debo de dejar de rogarle a los hombres. Quizás le escribiré casual para que no piense que me importa que tiene una amante en Panamá y que hasta viaja a otro pais a verla… He is not worth the hassle.

Además probablemente el es la causa de mi malestar (físico), pero no estoy enojada. Tampoco estoy enojada con mi cirujano, no vale la pena enojarse… No ganamos nada con eso.