We met again (31th August)

He spent almost a month in Brazil ‚Ķ later he went to Panama. I quit my job meanwhile .. He came back‚Ķon Monday ‚Ķ in fact it was already Tuesday. I was monitoring him in the office chat to check if he was online .. therefore in the office. . but he wasn’t .
I didn’t see him on Tuesday. On Wednesday finally I saw him. He asked me: do you have time for coffee with an old friend? I walked to the other building¬īs cafeteria to see him. There he was ‚Ķas always, tall and gorgeous ‚Ķ looking great in that blue jacket.

He hugged me … longer than I expected. He gave me a cup he bought for me . . that says ¨Brasil, beleza¨. He said he chose that when he saw the ¨beleza¨ He thinks I say this world too much. Probably, I do since I think that is what Brazilians say.

We sat down in the table and I told him I quit .. I told him my plans and he said finally it seems I had a ¨plan¨ and that I look very happy about it. I was nervous since he asked me before to do a plan about what I wanted to do … business model canvas (BMC) that according to him we can use it for any plan, so my mind would get used to work in a structured way. He is a PM, at the end. He even told me before he wanted to see the plan. It made me feel like he does care about me … in someway.

Anyway, that was on Wednesday. I want to meet him outside the office madly, that day I went to the gym and I finished tired of boxing, plus there was a small flood outside my house, so it would make difficult to go out or return home later. We didn’t meet that day, but we did the next day.

On Thursday it was my last day of work, Chris told me to go out to have some drinks as my farewell party, Memo also wanted this, but I didn’t have time to think about it since I had to pack all my things and also I wanted to spend the night with Fabs.

So, I moved to a place I booked through Airbnb and I was ready to meet Fabs. He was going on Friday early morning, so there was no other chance to meet. We went to place we visited the first time we went out .. yes, that night when I was dunk and he asked me ¬®why don’t you kiss me¬®. Dinner was nice, I wasn’t really hungry since before I had dinner and tea with my gym mate Pedro, but ok .. all I really wanted was to be with the Brazilian guy. 

We were chatting and drinking honey beer, jeje, and suddenly a girl gave me a paper to write my comments about the service. He asked me, does it say something about the company? Because I haven’t got any kisses .. .DAMN!!! I had to kiss him!! Why I had not kissed him? I don’t know .. maybe I was not sure he would want to continue with our thing ‚Ķ 

Why can he kiss me first? Anyway, we kissed. I love his kisses. 

I went to the bathroom and when I returned to had already asked and paid the bill.

We called an Uber and we went to his house … (probably because I was living in an Airbnb). Finally we arrived, such a nice house where he lives with some Asians guys from the company.

I saw his room, his table was a mess, a lot of papers there. I saw his guitar, he wanted to play something but he hadn’t had time to adjust the guitar strings.

Finally, he had condoms! So, surely he knew we would end up in his room.

That night, I don’t know why, but sex was not that good as last time. 

When we finished, as he always left my place and never stayed, I was not sure if I should go home or what. I think he told me something as please stay, we slept naked in his bed, it was cold due the fan so we were under the blankets. I remember his body touching my body, his arm around me I think, it was a bit uncomfortable for me but Ok i felt asleep.

He set his alarm at 6 but it didn’t ring. 

At 6:10 my alarm started ringing … that alarm I never heard the days I had to wake up to go to work .. that alarm sounded and saved us .. he put his clothes on fast and packed his suitcase and grabbed his guitar …

I told him there was a bus at 7,30 that he could take to the airport.

He said we would ask for an Uber to take him to the bus station and then it can bring me home. 

So, we did it. There he was with his suitcase and his guitar … he really looks good even at 6 am ..

He grabbed my hand during the way to the bus station, for me this was very strange because I always felt wall between us .. maybe he didn’t want to stay too close and thats why he never spent the night at my place. I don’t know ‚Ķ should I spend time to think what he felt? I am not sure, maybe I just need to realize he CARES about me ‚Ķ in his way ‚Ķbut he does. 

We arrived ‚Ķ. He kissed me and he said . see you in M City. 

By WhatsApp we don’t talk that much, in fact, he is not online that much there ..and all the time we spent together ‚Ķhe can stay hours without looking as his cellphone ‚Ķ

So, I don’t wanna write to him anymore, probably we will meet in October, when he returns.  

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wrong bus

I guess I got to meet him the 2th of September. I got extremely excited. AS usual I thought …oh he could be the one. 

The one….

next day after meeting him in a bus I arrived to my work place and had a email from him. I was more than happy. 

We started talking on Skype and as my friends told me I shouldn’t invite him out, he must be the one who needs to show interest.

Days passed and passed …

He even saved my phone number and whatsapp me once. Later, he barely reply to my messages. 

Time passed and he never invited me out or made any move to see us again …

I was ok, since I couldn’t go out with him since Josef was here.¬†

yes, that fucks me so much ‚Ķ Roger came to my life just few days before Josef¬īs arrival and he stole part of my mind‚Ķ I should have focus on Josef but my mind and heart was wandering after this guy that I just saw once in the bus.

He was just wandering there … walking there …invading me and the time I had to fully enjoy next to Josef.

What was Roger hiding?

One of the many time when I asked him when would we meet … (he was supposed to come to my office to install something) he said just gimme an opportunity to put things in order.

What did he need to put in order?

He asked me for my Facebook but I told him I didn’t have .. I didn’t want him to see Josef ‚Ķ¬†

I decided to look for him and saw some of his pictures … on one there was he with a baby …

I was suspicious he could be a father ..

DAys later he told me ..you need to know I have a little one of four years old …

I acted as there was no problem, because there was no problem …

Then he would finally go over my building …

He said he moved everything and almost killed his boss in order to do that project in my building …

He called me by phone, he talked for 15 minutes …

I was going to see him next day …

The day came, I took one of my best outfits … tight pants and a blue blouse, I was looking gorgeous …

He told me on Skype, Dani, just some details and we go to your building and I will look for you ….

what time? I asked.

IT is a surprise …

It really was because he never showed up…

I wrote him on whatsapp and on Skype but he never replied…

I was waiting ..he never came…

Next day I wrote him on Skype but I didn’t mention anything about yesterdays.

He was moody because he said he just slept one hour …

After days playing with his Skype updates …he wrote ..he fall in love with a woman of a green dress that he saw on his office floor …

that was a kick in my heart …

Daniel just told me ‚Ķhe just showed you he doesn’t give a fuck about you‚Ķ

thats true …

I deleted him phone number from my mobile to stop writing him like that day I wrote him drunk at 5 am saying .. I fucking like you. 

and so far.. We haven’t talked in a week‚Ķ.

I did all I could to show him I was interested, but ok, I cant force people to be with me …

I am starting to get over him, after all I just met him once in my life …

but I must confess he is bipolar … he talked to me  at times like someone in love and others like if I was nothing (I guess I am).

So, this shows how pathetic my life is that I get super excited for having some illusion in my gray life …

Love is in a green bus!

People say that you shouldn’t be searching for love, that love will find you…yeah sure.

 
Today I decided to not wait for Daniel, because he takes ages to leave the office and we walk to the right and sometimes in the middle of the walking I have luck and take a bus that take ages to arrive to the metro station.
 
 
I left office alone so I went to the left and walk to wait the bus. I walk a bit further and I dont wait in the bus station that is near work,  because I wanna avoid co workers and I have more chances to get a seat of I go further. 
 
I always take the the same bus … just once since the two months that I have been in this office I took the green one, but this time I said…I wanna take the green bus….and it came.
 
For my surprise it has many seats and after a fast thinking I decided to seat next to a cute guy …
 
The bus moved forward… as I never take this bus I was a bit surprised for the route it was taking, but I thought it was¬†ok…
Suddenly I saw a boy asked to a woman…is this bus going to Metro B? The woman answer -no. ¬†
Dammit!!!! I didnt know what to do then. I was in the middle of nowhere.  I hesitated to ask the guy next to me, but I got shy. 
 
 
Rapidly I thought about leaving the bus … but I¬†didnt. I contacted Eduardo and he told¬†ok¬†“stay until the last station, then follow the people and walk, you will arrive to a place where you can take a bus to Metro M”. ¬†Well, it was better than being lost in the middle of nowhere.
 
Suddenly, all the people was leaving..and I saw this guy was giving me that look … I asked: is this the last station?. Yes, he said.
 
I moved fast and we left the bus.
 
I saw he was behind me but he has his earphones on. I asked: hey where are you going? ūüôā ¬† He said…to this … me…hmm,¬†ok¬†you know I took a wrong bus and now I¬†dont¬†know how to arrive … I was told I could take a bus to the metro near here… He said¬†bla¬†bla¬†bla¬†to the Eagle Store. Me,¬†ok, thanks. As I saw the put his earphones on again I thought he¬†didnt¬†want to talk anymore.
 
I was walking, he was behind me. When I saw the Eagle store I realized I had no idea what to do from this. 
 
I was shy but turned to him and said “I forgot what I must do from Eagle store”.. he said…oh over there you can take the bus. I was confused so he added “you take it in the same place I am going to take mine”. ¬†So, we walked and chat. We arrived to the place where we should wait for the bus. I was¬†drizzling but I didn’t take out my umbrella.
 
I asked -so you work near (the place where I took the bus)?. He said he works (add here the second most famous carrier of mobile phones in your country). I said…wow, so you are an engineer… I work in¬†hw¬†(Telecom¬†company). So, from here all was ¬®easier¬® seems we both work in¬†Telecom¬†companies and our companies work very much with each other. In fact he has come to my building and he will come again ¬†because he will install some network.¬†
 
He said…you can wait for bus A here, I will take bus B … but it takes time..so maybe you better take bus C. ¬†Bus C was about leaving and I answer … I will wait a bit more here.. ūüėȬ†
 
As, it seemed it was going to rain more..he added I guess we should take bus C better … I agreed and we take the same bus. We seat near and were chatting.¬†
 
He talked ..I was smiling like an idiot (as I always do) we talked about food and he said maybe someday we could go to eat or we see us in my building …like if maybe the destiny would put us again together.
 
I decided to move forward. I already had told him my name and well his name is Rodrigo!!!!! Which is surprising, because few days ago I was remember that famous Spanish hero named Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar and I was thinking of how much I like that name, such a powerful Castillian name and I even thought about name my son Rodrigo, hahahaha!!! And his name is Rodrigo!!!!!
 
As he was going to leave soon… I luckily remember I had a business card in my purse… I found it fast and gave it to him … sadly all has changed …the¬†address, phone and my email … ūüėÄ He said: don’t you have a pen so you write me your number? I stupidly said I don’t remember it but I will write you my email. He told me his email and we agreed to write to each other.
 
He said sometimes he is very stressed and mad¬†coz¬†his work so would be nice to talk to me …¬†hahahaha…
 
We said bye and he gave me a bye kiss in the cheek…
 
he left and I was extremely happy ….. he looks like Bruno Mars…
 
Maybe ¬†I am anticipating but maybe he could be …. a nice guy with whom I can enjoy life…
 
 
come on!!! Engineer, Rodrigo, has been in my building …he added he almost never take the green bus ..me neither …
 
was it just coincidence?
 
I dont think so..
I hope he will write me tomorrow … if not …I will…
 
what the hell? what can I lose? ūüôā