I don’t want to think about you 

I got my period, so I suppose I’m not pregnant.

I thought about the possibilities. What would I have done if I was pregnant?

I think I would have had the baby, even with his dad living in Brazil. I would just have asked him to give him  his surname.

So, I could tell my son “your dad is Brazilian, syou will be a soccer player.” Hehe 

Yesterday iin the restaurant I was having lunch I saw two little boys in the table next to mine. I imagined how my child would and how I could be with him in the same restaurant some months later. 

I would like to have a baby boy..But I don’t think Fab and I would be together not even for a child.

But all these ideas are stupid. I’m not pregnant and maybe I  would ever meet again Fab. 

I have been thinking a lot  about  him lately. I should stop it. 

I don’t want to think about you. 

I’m not in love with him.  I don’t miss him. But I bet he would be a good dad and he definitely would provide a good DNA for a child.

No matter what I would get a pregnancy test, just in case. Second time in a year, way to go … 

Now go away of my thoughts…

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Brainstorm of him 

Capoeria

The older brother 

Washing car business when young 

Worked in air engineering 

External business of software development 

He said he is an Ugly Brazilian 

Good football player 

He sitting as a God in my chair 

No one can stay next to you in bed and do nothing 

Hates cactus (nopal)

I don’t like girls paying 

Espresso Doble cortado

Difficult to please 

He is not a slave of his mobile phone 

“come to me “

You are dangerous 

Acting weird when we meet in the office in a place that is not the cafeteria

Why don’t you kiss me? 😘😘😘 (first kiss)

This is part of the game, going out, drinks… 

While drinking… Taste this (he wants to kiss me) 

What could go wrong? Everything went wrong… We could even become parents… 

Abacaxi

He likes rocks 

Apple fan

Miami

You are crazier that I thought 

Don’t send me a picture with green hair, I want to remember you as now..

He put my name and a pic of me in a bus picture… he took time for this, this must mean something right?




Thursday 20th July 2017

On Wednesday I decided to avoid gym, I had taken the postday pills on Monday and I was feeling weak after a new session of kickboxing with the new trainer. 
I arrived early at home to find bound Hector was not longer living in the house. I suppose it was OK since he had been a pain in the bass during the last couple of days. This was the end of my favorite roomies. 
I put my shorts on but I probably left my room twice when I went to wash my bandage for kickboxing. Probably, it was d there when I got sick. I was doing so stuff to finish a report and suddenly at night I feel pain in my throat. I thought with sleep and tea all would be fine next day. 
On Thursday, Fabs asked me if I could grab him anything to eat on the go, of course I would, I told him I would stop at Starbucks and I got coffee and a sandwich for him. Damn, I forgot my Starbucks card that day and I still need to get it back.
I arrived to my office and realized I forgot my computer at home, I decided to left. I visited the doctor and got some injections 😖💉
I went home and sleep a bit in the noon. After, he wrote me to check how I was since he didn’t see me during lunch. I took my car to wash and he told me that he was leaving on Saturday, as it was planned since the beginning. I was shocked, so fast. I thought we would have more time to spend together, but thanks to Eduardo I realized we didn’t. 
Fabs told me on the company’s chat but I didn’t see it because I was sleeping. I felt a bit sad and empty. 
I had said to Fabs that we should go to take coffee again in that Irish place he liked (excuse for me). He said it was probably going to rain and that I should not leave my house. I said I was feeling better since I just wanted to spend time with him.  
I told him we could get some good to be delivered at home and I did order some Argentinian food that arrived fast at home. He brought a coke.
As usually, there was no a movie to watch. I remember once he kissed me in the face, as I have Faringitis it was not a good idea to kiss and I thought we would not spend another night together due my sickness. 
I asked him about his ideal job and he said it would be to have his own company of software development.. But to make a difference, to create something it would make an impact in the life of others. He is great. I admire him. 
He left around 1 am, he came to my home to check how I was. He said I looked OK. He asked me in the afternoon, how many days you have left? When I told him I went to the doctor. 
When he told me he would come I felt happy, I was jumping of happiness and I got tired. I just like to spend time with him.
Taxi came and we kissed on the lips. I thought maybe I would not see him again. Or maybe yes, on Friday in the office.  

He was joking me how Dr hagrid would be so happy on Friday to inject me and see my ass jaja. Because Fabs is a PM and he doesn’t know how to do it. 

31th April 2017

Suddenly, the magic happens  on Friday I had to escape from my office during lunch time to arrive to the capital in order to start a trip to the north.
I was excited. I was wearing some relaxing pants black and white that I have never wore before. I took the metro and walked to the meeting point. I was in a line when he arrived. 
I liked him since then first moment. I just could do some small chat. I was waiting for my friend Adolf to arrive.
The trip was OK. 

I guess he moved on..

I wanted him to stop bothering me, but I suppose it bothers me that he moved on, since I keep doing the same.  I am in the same place as when he left.

Sometimes I have thought about getting back to his arms, but then I remember I would just do that to fulfill my loneliness. No, I dont love him, but at times I miss his company.

He was crazy, but he took care of me when I was sick.

 

I found this just now in my drafts and I have no idea whom I am talking about …

I guess about Joseph, but I am not sure hehe

wtf

28 April – trip

On 28th April I was going on a trip to the north of my country.  I had to take a bus to arrive to the capital and then we would get involved into the adventure of being 16 hours in a bus to arrive to some natural wonders.

When I was in a line, I saw him because he was behind me. He was such a cute guy.  Some days later I found out other people of the trip called him Harry Potter.

We exchanged some words but I wanted to ask more things like if he was going alone to the trip. But, well I was waiting for my friend Adolf (yes, weird name) to come.

I was wearing some baggy pants black and white that I like so much.

I observed him during the trip. I knew where he was sitting in the bus. I saw him swimming in the pools. I thought he was an biologist or something like that since he seemed some into the water and what was hidden deep down.

I saw him during the breakfast and when he was so happy talking by phone… I thought maybe he was talking with his girlfriend.

So, I was suppose to go back to the water after eating a delicious meat as lunch. I got shy, because the people that was already in the pools was screaming to the people who wanted to go into the water -dive, dive – dive-.

we swam there

I got shy because of that and I did not feel that comfortable in my swimsuit to go walk around the pools before immersing myself. I did not swim more.

I came back to the cabin and I saw him. I wanted to talk to him. He put his earphones on.  He was sleeping in the table … when I saw it was time I went to the table and say HELLO.

I did not know what to say.  He also said random things, like aiming to a cute little boy and asked me – isnt he cute, I want a son like him-  That little boy was great.

Anyway,  we saw we had some things in common as working in other city outside the capital. He showed me some pictures of his Facebook and from there I knew how to find him there.

So, now we knew each other. That night I added him on Facebook, that was our last night in the North and some people wanted to go for a drink. He didnt come.  He felt asleep he told me later.

But ok, next day we were talking a lot. He joined to Adolf and I in our table during the breakfast. We visited a museum and then it was time to leave … again 16 hours in the bus. We talked and laughed in some bus stops.

We finally arrived ad 3-30 am to the capital.  I was waiting for an uber and walked to where He .. Esteban (thats his name) was. … my uber came and I said see you soon, we hug and I left …

He is such a sweetheart, I hope we can see us again.

 

immensity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five minutes 

This quote of Benedetti makes me Think about how many times we dream Something that didn’t happen.

Before meeting Serge I thought we may fall in love and then all our lives would be chaotic in the search of finding out what we would need to do to be together.

But no. We didn’t fall in love.

I daydreamed something that wasn’t real. But isn’t it what a daydream is about?