I don’t want to think about you 

I got my period, so I suppose I’m not pregnant.

I thought about the possibilities. What would I have done if I was pregnant?

I think I would have had the baby, even with his dad living in Brazil. I would just have asked him to give him  his surname.

So, I could tell my son “your dad is Brazilian, syou will be a soccer player.” Hehe 

Yesterday iin the restaurant I was having lunch I saw two little boys in the table next to mine. I imagined how my child would and how I could be with him in the same restaurant some months later. 

I would like to have a baby boy..But I don’t think Fab and I would be together not even for a child.

But all these ideas are stupid. I’m not pregnant and maybe I  would ever meet again Fab. 

I have been thinking a lot  about  him lately. I should stop it. 

I don’t want to think about you. 

I’m not in love with him.  I don’t miss him. But I bet he would be a good dad and he definitely would provide a good DNA for a child.

No matter what I would get a pregnancy test, just in case. Second time in a year, way to go … 

Now go away of my thoughts…

Friday 21th Saturday 22th July, 2017 

He left yesterday, on Saturday 22th July. He left my house around 05:30 am, I was waiting for his taxi to arrive. It was cold, he put my jacket hat on me. When the taxi arrived I said stupid things, like see you soon, or maybe never… I think words were not necessary.  
After being in the Irish pub he said he would go with home to make sure I was safe. I was not sure if we would sleep together again. He didn’t let me drink this night.  
We arrived home. I literally told him “estou com vontade de você”. I wanted him. I forgot my sickness and I started kissing him. I took off my shirt. He wanted it too. 
So, this was your plan since the beginning? He said. I replied I thought we would only have dinner. You are dangerous he added. I know why he told me dangerous many things. He could not help himself, he wanted me. That’s why he ran away from me that day of the movies. He likes me, I think he likes me very much. 
We made love on that Saturday early morning. The first time we were both sober. We didn’t have condoms. He promise he would be careful to not cum inside me again. 
Before I thought I was just a sexual object for him, a fun, there he just used me. But this night he was different with me, that’s why I said we made love. He kissed me a lot, he kissed my body, and was very nice with me. There was a kind of tenderness between us. 
He had to stop around three times in order to not finish. He counted and even thought about his panda boss. He told me to stop doing a thing that drove him crazy (I didn’t know it was working). 
That night was special for me. At the end I was caressing his face. 
I got closer to him. He is not very open to people, but this night we got closer. I feel “loved” and sex was good, hehe. 
I just hope there’s no a baby asconsequence a of such great night 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Thursday 20th July 2017

On Wednesday I decided to avoid gym, I had taken the postday pills on Monday and I was feeling weak after a new session of kickboxing with the new trainer. 
I arrived early at home to find bound Hector was not longer living in the house. I suppose it was OK since he had been a pain in the bass during the last couple of days. This was the end of my favorite roomies. 
I put my shorts on but I probably left my room twice when I went to wash my bandage for kickboxing. Probably, it was d there when I got sick. I was doing so stuff to finish a report and suddenly at night I feel pain in my throat. I thought with sleep and tea all would be fine next day. 
On Thursday, Fabs asked me if I could grab him anything to eat on the go, of course I would, I told him I would stop at Starbucks and I got coffee and a sandwich for him. Damn, I forgot my Starbucks card that day and I still need to get it back.
I arrived to my office and realized I forgot my computer at home, I decided to left. I visited the doctor and got some injections 😖💉
I went home and sleep a bit in the noon. After, he wrote me to check how I was since he didn’t see me during lunch. I took my car to wash and he told me that he was leaving on Saturday, as it was planned since the beginning. I was shocked, so fast. I thought we would have more time to spend together, but thanks to Eduardo I realized we didn’t. 
Fabs told me on the company’s chat but I didn’t see it because I was sleeping. I felt a bit sad and empty. 
I had said to Fabs that we should go to take coffee again in that Irish place he liked (excuse for me). He said it was probably going to rain and that I should not leave my house. I said I was feeling better since I just wanted to spend time with him.  
I told him we could get some good to be delivered at home and I did order some Argentinian food that arrived fast at home. He brought a coke.
As usually, there was no a movie to watch. I remember once he kissed me in the face, as I have Faringitis it was not a good idea to kiss and I thought we would not spend another night together due my sickness. 
I asked him about his ideal job and he said it would be to have his own company of software development.. But to make a difference, to create something it would make an impact in the life of others. He is great. I admire him. 
He left around 1 am, he came to my home to check how I was. He said I looked OK. He asked me in the afternoon, how many days you have left? When I told him I went to the doctor. 
When he told me he would come I felt happy, I was jumping of happiness and I got tired. I just like to spend time with him.
Taxi came and we kissed on the lips. I thought maybe I would not see him again. Or maybe yes, on Friday in the office.  

He was joking me how Dr hagrid would be so happy on Friday to inject me and see my ass jaja. Because Fabs is a PM and he doesn’t know how to do it. 

31th April 2017

Suddenly, the magic happens  on Friday I had to escape from my office during lunch time to arrive to the capital in order to start a trip to the north.
I was excited. I was wearing some relaxing pants black and white that I have never wore before. I took the metro and walked to the meeting point. I was in a line when he arrived. 
I liked him since then first moment. I just could do some small chat. I was waiting for my friend Adolf to arrive.
The trip was OK. 

Como esquecer o beijo que você me deu?

We were making love with Brazilian music as background.

he was inside me when this song started.. and he started singing this part:

Como eu quero
De novo um beijo seu muito gostoso
Do jeito que ‘cê faz é carinhoso
Por isso eu quero suas mãos em mim
Como eu quero
O cheiro de amor que vem chegando
Trazendo o seu corpo só pra mim

 

I love this song now… and it will always remind me of my handsome Brazilian man.

Love me tender

I think I would have never talked to Wal (The Brazilian guy) if he hadn’t looked at me as he did.

I remember him waving his hand to me and winking to me.

When he wrote me the first time he told me … you are so cute and guapa.

I would never have thought some hours after this chat, we would be in his hotel room … that he was going to love me tender … that he would bath me … with all the tenderness in the world…

he … he was not full of lust for me … he was full of desire to treat me well and he did.

Thats the way a man should treat me .. I should not forget this.

At times I think maybe he does the same with any girl… but why I think this? I should stop thinking that.. he was with him all those days. He could have spent those night with someone else but he was with me …

We all deserve a love that will love us tender … do not forget it.

 

 

 

Pretty woman…

I guess I am a pretty woman … Most of my life I have felt as an average girl or even not pretty enough. Specially, when I see all those girls who wears a lot of make up and wear super fancy clothes.

But, many men have told me many times that I am a very pretty girl …

but Wal … he is always making compliments to me: beautiful, pretty woman, hermosa, delicia.

and through his eyes I can see he means what he says.

We cried together … I saw his eyes watering … He kissed my hand and told me how special I was to him. He said the eyes don’t lie. He said he can see through my eyes that I love him, that I care for him. I thought he was crazy, we had just met some days ago.

We were only together 4 days and 4 nights. I didn’t think much about what we were doing. I was just living the moment and I thought after his departure all would end.

But, he still writes me all the time, he sends me pictures … he asks me to send to him pictures of me .. so, I am becoming a selfie addict since I need to take some pic of me for him.  I like doing it.

I don’t miss him, I didn’t have enough time to become attached to him, but I enjoy all the time we spent together.

I don’t regret about anything, being with him was beautiful. He treated me very nicely, tender. It might sounds crazy, but we didn’t fuck … we made love … and yes, we cried on the bed … I dont know why … maybe because between us  there was something special, different, unique. I felt great with him like I have never felt with another man. It was not about the intercourse (that was delicious too), it was all together . He made me felt loved, like no one did before. He didnt make me feel used at all.

Now I believe I am his pretty woman … I am pretty … I am gorgeous …

More than anything … I am his pretty woman …

 

Pretty woman, walkin’ down the street
Pretty woman the kind I like to meet
Pretty woman I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
No one could look as good as you, mercy

 

 

This song will always remind me of him … this song is fabolous.