Thursday 20th July 2017

On Wednesday I decided to avoid gym, I had taken the postday pills on Monday and I was feeling weak after a new session of kickboxing with the new trainer. 
I arrived early at home to find bound Hector was not longer living in the house. I suppose it was OK since he had been a pain in the bass during the last couple of days. This was the end of my favorite roomies. 
I put my shorts on but I probably left my room twice when I went to wash my bandage for kickboxing. Probably, it was d there when I got sick. I was doing so stuff to finish a report and suddenly at night I feel pain in my throat. I thought with sleep and tea all would be fine next day. 
On Thursday, Fabs asked me if I could grab him anything to eat on the go, of course I would, I told him I would stop at Starbucks and I got coffee and a sandwich for him. Damn, I forgot my Starbucks card that day and I still need to get it back.
I arrived to my office and realized I forgot my computer at home, I decided to left. I visited the doctor and got some injections 😖💉
I went home and sleep a bit in the noon. After, he wrote me to check how I was since he didn’t see me during lunch. I took my car to wash and he told me that he was leaving on Saturday, as it was planned since the beginning. I was shocked, so fast. I thought we would have more time to spend together, but thanks to Eduardo I realized we didn’t. 
Fabs told me on the company’s chat but I didn’t see it because I was sleeping. I felt a bit sad and empty. 
I had said to Fabs that we should go to take coffee again in that Irish place he liked (excuse for me). He said it was probably going to rain and that I should not leave my house. I said I was feeling better since I just wanted to spend time with him.  
I told him we could get some good to be delivered at home and I did order some Argentinian food that arrived fast at home. He brought a coke.
As usually, there was no a movie to watch. I remember once he kissed me in the face, as I have Faringitis it was not a good idea to kiss and I thought we would not spend another night together due my sickness. 
I asked him about his ideal job and he said it would be to have his own company of software development.. But to make a difference, to create something it would make an impact in the life of others. He is great. I admire him. 
He left around 1 am, he came to my home to check how I was. He said I looked OK. He asked me in the afternoon, how many days you have left? When I told him I went to the doctor. 
When he told me he would come I felt happy, I was jumping of happiness and I got tired. I just like to spend time with him.
Taxi came and we kissed on the lips. I thought maybe I would not see him again. Or maybe yes, on Friday in the office.  

He was joking me how Dr hagrid would be so happy on Friday to inject me and see my ass jaja. Because Fabs is a PM and he doesn’t know how to do it. 

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He is back and he is gone

I blocked Rock six months ago,  the guy I met in the bus.

I finally found out what happened.

I grew  up with the idea that love is magical,  something that should be like a movie, exciting,  romantic, crazy,  that makes you drunk.

In my mind the way I met Rock  was how love supposed to be.  All a big coincidence that happened because it had to happen. It was destiny.  I took the wrong bus,  he didn’t drive that day because universe made our meeting happen.

That is what I thought.  I fell in love with the idea of love.  The idea of what could happen with us.  I expected to see him,  to fall in love,  to date him,  to grow up memories with him,  even to meet his son. 

I don’t know why he didn’t want to see me again.  But he seemed to enjoy our chats.  After months of being fooled with hopes I decided to delete him.  I was free.. Kinda.

On the first days of March I suddenly saw in my mailbox  an email from him.
I was totally surprised…  My face changed I called Carlos showing him that saying ‘what the fuck is this email?’
My boss saw my face and asked me what has happened.  I didn’t know what to  say. 

After some hours I replied… Being calmed and cool.

We chatted again and I said let’s eat on Friday.  I stopped taking to him since wenedssay and he of course didn’t contact me.  That was fine,  on Friday my boss invited us for lunch.

As I’m stupid I kept talking to him.  He never said anything  about meeting again.

I don’t understand  why he wanted to talk to me again.  He said wanted to see how I was,  what I have been doing.

That he always remembers me, he said.  That I shouldn’t  ask for reasons. 
That he likes me a lot he said. 

I remember  before he said he had to arrange some stuff before meeting me.
We added each other on instagram. I saw a woman’s pic,  and a baby girl pics.  I think that is what he had to fix that when he met me his gf/lover/wife was pregnant. 

What does he want? I don’t  know.

I made a psycho magic trick today to forget about him.  I wrote that the reason why I like him and I coudnt find many reasons.  I don’t know him.

It’s time to let him go finally.

I’m not sure about what to do,  deleting him or letting him..  Seeing online.  That’s empty.  He is never present.

Whatever,  I don’t want to lose more time thinking about him.

Good bye.
Nice knowing you.
Thanks for benedetti ‘s poem.

Dreams

The other day I had a dream about Josef and some girl he met in my country that I don’t like that much in my dream it was like, maybe they were cheating on me.

Nothing was clear but I was very mad about it…. And I threw him out of my house.

But also I dreamt about the man I met in the green bus. Rodrigo, I dont know why he obssess me that much if I just saw him that day in the bus and other in the street.  In my dream he saw a photo of me and a little girl and he thought I was a good with kids and since he has a little boy he decided it was good to hang with me.

I was asking him why? Why you wanna meet me now?

I woke up.

Why did I get so obsessed?

I don’t know

Now that I remember, he kinda reminds me a boy I met years ago in my teaching classes, Daniel.

I was kinda into him and we celebrate my 23 birthday #goodtimes

Now he lives in another city but he says I can go anytime.  Maybe I should? Sounds like fun. After all, spring is here. Sounds like trouble!