There´s just 1 plan

I remember when I was younger I always wanted to escape, far away. But, later I realized no matter how far I would go my demons would follow me.

I forgot about that idea and I started living a normal life.

My friends and family thought I was making it.

I was working in an important company and I was making money, I was even a leader and I was hiring people. Me, hiring people… who would say it?

I had a handsome, blond blue-eyed boyfriend, who seem to love me and whom I love with madness.

I even was driving a nice car.

But all that ended. Some years later, Im abroad having a crappy job, no boyfriend, and definitely no car.

I moved away far from home and I think I have wasted a year of my life.

I couldn’t even lose weight during this time.

It is almost the end of January 2019 and the things are not predicted better.

I don’t know what to do.  I know is my Last Card to play. I had planned all in my head, but now that I am here I am alone, bored, broken.

My mom doesn’t want me to return home, not because she doesn’t love me but because she wants  me to succeed here.

I was planning to write what to do.

1. Study 1 or 2 more years here
2. Move back home, get a job
3. Study portuguese in Brasil – Portugal

But it seems, the only plan available is plan 1. Today while talking with my mom, it was a wake up call.

Plus, I guess I could do my Plan 3 during my break, for 1 month at least. It would be fun.

I need to make more money also, and a better job. I need to focus on this.

There’s just plan 1.

 

I miss you

I noticed today was Fab´s birthday and I decided to congratulate him.

He said he misses me.

I wonder if he does. .. maybe he does because he has not a reason to say it if he doesn’t feel this way.

He is in my hometown now I told her I am going this weekend. But I dont think we are going to meet. I dont care now.

Maybe because I didn’t get fit as I wanted, but also because I got over him a lot time ago.

But he is my friend still and I like him and I think maybe he didn’t lie to me and I am special to him.  He is 38 yo now, but he is still hot as fire.